drink.drunk.drink.

I went to town last night. For those not in the know, town is where the clubs are. The nightclubs.
The nightclubs I went to was The Sovereign, The Cri, Mad Cow, and Finneys.
Sovereign=Good. Not many people. Quiet.
Cri=Same as above+Cheap drinks
Mad Cow=No opinion, was in there 2 seconds
Finneys=Never going back in there
Hmm yeah. Not a big drinker, but lately I have been drinking more. Weird.

Short story #2

"JEEVES! MORE RUM!" he shouted at his butler through the intercom. It's not that he was a lazy fellow, well he once wasn't at least At 23 he was slim, athletic, and ready to take on the world in accounting, but all things change when you win the lottery.

He become a multi-millionaire over night. Anything he could ever dream of was his. All for the taking. Now at 28, he was a large slovenly man. He had no need to move, he was rich! He spet the day perousing the internet. Looking at naked woman. No real woman would touch him the way they do their partners. He knew it was all fake. He didn't care. He just wanted someone.
He sometimes wished he'd never won the money, just kept working like every other person on the planet; he didn't need to, but he still could have.

These are his regrets at 28.


In a story mood, don't judge me.

Stuck in my head

He sits at his study, thinking of what to write. He pours another half glass of whisky. It's beginning to warm from the temperature. He wished he had ice left. Each sip lands in his stomach like a big 'fuck you'. He deson't know what to write, who to write about, or for. Pointless writing for himself when he has started to see the world so bleak.

Bah, a childrens author, what was he thinking? Write one novel poem, and people label you this and that. Never mind the thousands of short storys he's written which are now nothing more then kindling.
The thoughts swirl in his head. He tries to combine them all. Finding rhymes, dreaming of pictures, but every rhyme and every picture is as bleak and dark as the next.
It no longers seems the ideas are swriling, but rather he is. He takes another sip of warm vodka. This time he practically hears plonk in his gut. It smashes his stomach. Alcohol. His last source. To drink his problems away. It won't work. It. Never. Does.


I was drinking hot tap water and this kind of, formed. Not sure what it means, maybe it just gave me the comparison to vodka. idk. I've been up 23 hours, with still more to come. I almost kept writing the story then. And I keep mispelling words. This isn't going to twitter. This is mine. If someone stumbles upon it, so be it.

I have decided.

I have alot of blogs. I have 2 drawing ones and one where I rant. I have been using the rant one for regular blogs. BUT NO MORE. This will no be for my insane rambling things. It has a good name too. It is my name. I like my name. Do you?

Anyway, that is all. I am assuming tonight I will hit my "I will write about tomatoe juice" phase, and something will be written. Goodhello.

Hello Twitterers.

If you're reading this, you most likely saw my tweet. Thank you for caring about me :P

Well yesterday I went shopping with my sister. My Mums brush broke that morning, so being the lovely kiddies we are, we thought we'd go buy her a new brush.
We went to the pharmacy in Stockland (for those who aren't in Townsville, it's a shop) and looked at the brushes. We found the one we were going to buy, and my sister brushed the end of my hair and said "Now you have lovely hair". Nothing to bad, but the store policy in there is "You brush it, you bought it" (although there are no signs saying this!) Now we were buying the brush anyway, plus planning to buy alot more items, and fill some scripts, but the old (now I say old, but you may think 'what to a 19 y/o is old' well, she looked around 55+) women who worked there, camde up to us (my sister and I) and basically yelled "YOU KNOW YOU HAVE TO BUY THAT NOW!" and my sister said "We are buying it" to which was replied "YEAH YOU USED IT YOU HAVE TO BUY IT!" (May I say at this point, even if we weren't going to buy it, it was a $3 brush. Not like we are poor!) My sister said again "Yes, we are buying it". We then went back to looking at other brushes for my sister. The old lady just stood there, staring at us. We then walked off to look at perfumes and colognes. The lady followed us and kept watching us. She then yelled "I CAN RING IT UP FOR YOU NOW!" and I replied "Can you not see we are STILL looking around". She finally walked off. We were relieved. Then I saw her talking to another employee. Next minute that employee was following us around the store. So my sister and I just walked randomly around saying "WOW she's so ninja" and laughing. After awhile it did get old. Being followed like common criminals. So my sister said "Fuck this" and threw the brush and stormed out of the store. We were then chased out, with the employee saying we were thieves. I said "We were buying the fucking brush (yes I know, there was no need for language, but if you were followed around like a common dog, you'd be a tad pissed too) we didn't appreciate being followed!" To whcih she replied "You're thieves, that's theft" and my sister said "THE BRUSH IS IN THE STORE!" and no matter what we said she would reply "You're thieves, that's theft". My sister said, "WE'LL GO PAY FOR THE BRUSH THEN!" So we walked to the counter and waited, but I thought "Nah, f**k this, I'm not letting them treat me like this" So I went and told a manager. He said he'd talk to the employees (whether he did or not, I don't know). The point is after all this, my sister was crying. They made my little sister cry over a $3 brush.

I may have rambled during this, but my point is; Why are young kids (even tho at 19, I don't think I'm that young) treated like garbage at shops. Admittedly it is usually older people, which begs the question if it is just because they are given a tiny bit of power in a deadend job? Because they're angry that they have a deadend job? All of the above?

Well they lost around $200 on items we were going to buy, and now I will not be going back there.

I would ask you to join me in my boycott of angry old bitches, and infact I will.

Join the boycott of the angry old bitch pharmacy that made my poor little sister cry!

Thankyou for reading, have a good day.

The many things that have annoyed me in the past month.

There have been alot of things that annoyed me in the past month. I planned to write it earlier today, but had stuff to do. Now I've forgotten a few of them (I'm sure they'll come back to me)

1. Eclipse Mint add.
Mainly the music, but also the entire add as a whole. I mean seriously "Eat an eclipse mint, then magically there will be an eclipse, and you can make out with strangers and no one will see you"

2. Disney stars
They're making children sluts. I think if Walt Disney were alive today, he would be so pissed off, and not just because there are still Jews (ZINGED YA WALT)

3. People in America
I read that Miley Cyrus has a 4 billion dollar class action lawsuit against her for a picture she took where she held her eyes slanted. Apparently some people (Asians, I guess) are offended by this. I don't think they're offended, I think they want money. It disgusts me how low people are; it also made me realise I could never be famous. I would offend so many people before I even got my first paycheck.

Some more later, I'm taking a nap.

Long time, no blog.

Where does the time go? Well not much has happened since I last blogged. I (well technically my dad) found all my old Yu-Gi-Oh cards. Haven't seen them since I moved over 2 years ago. I thought I'd lost them during the second move, but luckily I didn't. They were all in good condition in a cardboard box (which is very odd, since it was raining non stop, and the garage was flooded) Anyway, like the nerd I am, I've bee fine tuning, and re-tuning my deck. Trying to get it nice and neat should I ever want to enter a big competition. Going out to buy some of the new 5D cards on the weekend.

Speaking of weekends; I should (hopefully) be going out on Saturday to do some electronics shopping. Dad promised me a new computer for my birthday (which was Jan 2nd) and my lovely sister (Alex) needs a new phone. She's had her old one for like...3 years I think. 

I don't know how she's lasted, my phone timeline looks like this:

1999(?)- Old analog phone for one day

2002(?)- Nokia 3315

Honestly, a 3315 was the definitive phone. They has so many awesome cases, and were indestructible...well somewhat.

2003(?)-After my Nokia was left on the back of a car, and flung off to smash into a gutter, I had a little blue Motorola for around 5 or so months, before getting a brand new 3315.

Eh, screw the timeline, I'll just name them.

Then, while I had a 3315, I got the [infamous] coke phone

-"You're a dork"

It was an awesome school phone, the front of the screen lifted off, so me and my friends (who were all uber and had it) would put a piece of paper underneath, that said "This phone is off"

The teacher wasn't allowed to take it. I was hardcore.

Then I got my first colour screen phone (Nokia 3120?) not long after. I loved the poly ringtones. They sounded so real, not like the tones these days. After that phone, I got another Nokia. The sides of it would light up when you got a call, and it came with a case that had led lights down the back. You'd sway it back and forward, and it would show words. Man, it ruled. (True story: I actually walked to Willows from Condon at 8:30p when they rang and told me it was in) After that, it was my first 'smartphone'. It was a Motorola something, it had voice calling, photo editing, all neato stuff. After a year it broke, and I had to use my old Nokia again. The Moto however, was on a plan (with insurance) so I paid $100 and got a new one (RRP $1200 when I first got it, about $600 when I got a new one). That phone lasted until my 18th birthday last year. It kept freezing up, so I used my birthday money to get another Nokia (6300). That phone lasted until September. It also started to play up, so I got my current phone. The iPhone.

Oh yeah, my sister has had her phone since I've had my second Nokia (with light up sides).

Wow, way off track. Point was, after 3 years, her phone internal memory (it was like 6mb) is full, and she can't get txts anymore.

Wow, don't even know what the point of this blog was to begin with. Oh well.

Happy Valentines day, incase I don't blog before.

Later.

Only 6 profile views.

I've only had 6 profile views, so now I'm wondering; How do I get my blog out there, for more people to view? I'd ask people who will read this, but with an average of only 2 people per post, I hardly think anyone will answer. I will keep writing this tho, merely for the fact that it entertains me.

Tomorrow is New Years Eve, it's a weird day, because it's the last 24 hours of 2008. Although I haven't been a fan of 2008, every year that passes makes me sad because there's usually something about the year I have liked alot. I'll now tell you them, in chronological order ( well the ones I remember anyway)..

1999- Even tho I was only 9 during this year, I loved it. All the hype of Y2K was insane. I remember sitting up until midnight, waiting for technology to shut down; but of course nothing happened (even tho this year, I did research Y2K and find out some minor problems happened around the world)

2000- The year of writing 00 as the year and the beginning of a new millenium (I know it didn't technically start until 2001)

2002- My last year in primary school. I was excited to be growing up, going to high school; Even though I had no idea what to expect. I thought it would be like primary. One teacher for majority of it, with different teachers for music and P.E. Graduation was the best, along with our mini, well you could say formal. The food was awesome, I remember it was made by 'The Golden Roast' because my friends and I kept saying the slogan the whole night "From coast to coast, the golden roast"

2003- The start of high school. Most of my friends went to Kirwan high school, and even tho I begged and begged my mum to let me go to Kirwan, she put me in Thuringowa, because it was just around the corner. No one I knew went there, and unlike most kids who went there, I didn't go to the 'Experience day' to see what it was like. I had no knowledge of this place. No friends. For pretty much the first 2 or 3 weeks I was a loner. I'd blindly go from class to class, and then at lunch eat alone. That's when I met my first friend of High school; Andrew Pulman. From that point I made other friends, such as Kristofer McDonald, and of course Shane Cameron (Some of which I stopped talking to soon after). I also had to pick my classes for year 9 and 10. I was originally going to take Art, but since most of my friends were taking drama, I took that. My plan was to see how drama was after a semester, then most likely change to art. Never happened, I decided that acting was more fun, so I stuck with it through my high school career.

2004- Nothing that eventful happened. Year 2 of high school, I had gotten the hang of it. Started playing Yu-Gi-Oh (at one point I was 80th best in Australia) and going to tournaments for it. 

2005- Year 10, again not that eventful. Still played Yu-Gi-Oh, and it was the year I had to pick my subjects for 11 and 12, also the year my hair became a factor in my appearance. Until then I had it shaved; Number 2, all the time.

2006- Year 11, I was a senior. The subjects I had picked were:

*Drama

*Physics^

*Biology

*Maths A

*English

-Social and community services

-HRE

+Work Ed

+ BCT

* OP Eligible subject

- Non OP

+ Certificate class

^ Switched class

After term 1, I had dropped Physics, it's not that I couldn't do it, I was just lazy, and since I only needed 4 OP subjects to go for an OP, I switched to Social Comm, which was a bludge. This was also the year I began straightening my hair.

2007- My last year of high school. I wasn't that sad to be leaving. No offense to Thuringowa, but the teachers there were pretty much shit. I guess if I had've applied myself more (and by apply myself, I mean; not listen to the teachers and study wikipedia religiously) I could've learnt alot more. None the less, I passed my subjects. This was also the year of "many hair-dos"

In that year, I had:

Brown hair, with red fringe

Black hair, with red streaks

Black hair, with blue streaks

Black hair, with blond streaks

Black hair, with pink streaks

Black hair, with purple streaks

Black hair, with spiky blonde back

Blond hair, with black streaks and

Short blond hair, with black streaks.

At the end of the year, was my formal. I night I shan't forget, and of course; Graduation. A good year all up. Although I must admit, once school was over, that's when I started to miss it. Mainly drama lessons with Rose and Andrew. There was nothing funnier. Then once all was over, the greatest vacation ever! It was to The Gold Coast with (almost) my entire family. It was a grand 2 weeks, spent shopping and going to the Theme parks. I shall never forget it.

and now we come to

2008- Not a great year. There was my 18th, which was the highlight of the year, but it came 2 days into the year, so after it, was all but downhill. On Easter I took off work because I felt ill, no one believed I was. A trip to the Hospital then confirmed that I was sick. I had salmonella. I got pills, and was fine for a few weeks, then I was sick again. Another trip to the hospital, and I found out I had Ulcerative Colitis. (Now some might ask "Why tell us such personal info?" Simple, if I ever become famous, and have a wikipedia page, there needs to be sources, this blog will serve as that source.) I was in hospital for a week, alot of tests were done and finally I was released. Once I was released from hospital, things became better for 2 main reasons:

1. I was out of hospital, and now had pills to make me feel good.

2. I was moving.

This is the part of the story I have yet to tell. Since April of 2006, I had been living with my mother and her 'boyfriend'. At the start, things were good. He was acting nice to everyone (normal behaviour) but as time went on he showed his true colours. Their were 5 incidences when I lived their, that cops were called. You see, he would strangle me, beat me; at one point he even pushed my sister (2 years my junior) down, and made her cry, eventaully the police even advised me to take out a restraining order on me. Now for those of you wondering who this person was, just highlight the next bit of text, you may find you know him. 

Raymond Edge-Williams.

Once I had moved, things did get better. Alot better. I got a brand new phone, an iPhone

[Trivia: Prior to getting my iPhone, I had been against them. I heard nothing but bad things about them from everyone, but once my nokia died, I decided "Hell with it" and got one, and now I know first hand, that they are the best phone out there] After that nothing happened. Was very un-eventful, but actually looking back, I realize it was a very good year, but I welcome 2009.

I am actually hoping to get a new computer, with more ram, to start my own webcomic next year, so keep an eye out for that, hopefully it will be big.

Anywho, happy new year to all, hope next year will be good for you all.

Christopher D. Lane.

Some rules, everyone should know.

I work at coles, and some times the sheer stupidity of people, makes me mad. So here are some rules/things you didn't know; that you should when you go through a register at Coles, or even any register. Think of it as registertiquette (registertiquette (c) Christopher Lane 2008). So here they are, my Xmas/Hannukah gift to you all.

1. When you are waiting inline, don't get pissed at the person serving if they're going to slow. They may have been working a while before you came along. Although if it's early, and you see them just getting on, and they are still slow, they're just warming up. 

2. If you have your items in a trolley, you'd put them up on the counter, yeah? So there's no difference if you have a basket. That goes double for putting your items in a green bag before coming through and just expecting them unpacked. It get's annoying if you I have to unpack your groceries, then pack them again. Even more frustrating if you look at your watch and make an annoyed sound. Swear to Xenu, one day, I'm smacking someone in the face with a ham.

3. When the checkout operator asks you "Hi, how are you?" It is nice to answer, and not just stare at them blankly. I don't care how you are, hell if you carked it while I was serving you, I'd just page someone to take your fat ass away. Saying it is just a nicety, so return it and it will be over alot quicker.

4. Try to keep all your items of the same kind TOGETHER. I.e Cold items, fragile, cleaning supplys etc. There's nothing more annoying then putting through some Meat, then suddenly getting some Eggs, then Soap, then suddenly BAM meat again. There really should be some kind of rule that says Register operators can put your shit in the bag the order they're given them.

5i. If something is scanned wrong, don't make a big hissy fit about it. Calmly say "That was supposed to be (amount)". Most likely the price on the item was overlooked.

5ii. If something is on special for like '2 for $5' it doesn't come up at the discounted price on the screen. It will still have the original price next to it. Although it will be highlighted red, and the special is written underneath it. Don't say to me "OI, that was 3 for $6, you put it through the wrong price" because once it's pointed out to you "Oh no, see the BIG red words, it says it there; Can you read?" You'll seem like a dipshit.

6. When asked for a flybuys/everyday rewards card, or the like do not answer "No thank you" I wasn't asking if you WANTED one, I asked if you had one. If you do have one and don't want to use it, it's just as easy to say "Yeah, but don't worry about it". You won't seem like a dipshit with manners.

7. If you want credit or something with your purchase, please know what you want. Don't say to me "I want $20 credit" and then when asked "Which one?" just say "I don't know, the $20 one" If you don't know that simple question, I should be allowed to stab you.

8. If you're given the wrong change, just say it nicely. Yelling doesn't get your point across any better. Just makes you seem like a stingy prick who needs his 50c.

9. When they say "Have a nice day" how hard is it to say "You too"? 

Well that's all, please remember these next time, you may realise the checkout operator is alot happier, and it goes by quicker.

Oh and one more thing, tommorow; Xmas day; I'll be having a very special "A very Christopher Christmas" on my twitter. Over 50 updates throughout the day, to share my Xmas with you. I know you don't care, but it's the thought that counts.

See you all on another post.

Christopher D. Lane

P.H.D Bloggology.

The stuff fairy tales are made off.

Political Correctness.

It's all around us, and driving everyone mad.

Some time ago, some people said "You know what, bah bah black sheeps offends me, why is the sheep black" So then they went to some like, Secretary in-charge of Fairy tales and dipshits, and demanded it be changed.

Here's what I find stupid about this, now some sheep actually ARE black, so why is a rhyme about one offensive. I get there saying "Oh it could be misconstrued as meaning a 'black' person" but I think that's the most racist thing TO say about this.

Let's think about the poem;

"Bah bah black sheep, have you any wool?

Yes sir, yes sir; 3 bags full.

One for the master

and one for the dame,

and one for the little boy who lives down the lane"

The sheep in this poem is giving wool away, so are they now saying "Why would a 'black' people would never give their stuff away"?

That's a bit racist politically correct people, judging 'black' people like that. Tsk on you.

Also, they changed it to rainbow sheep. Rainbow is often associated with homosexuals. So they must also be saying "Why would a 'black' people would never give their stuff away, it would more likely be a queer, they love to give away fashion and make everyone looks 'fabulous'"

Basically there's a rampant hypocrisy with political correctness; and don't even get me started with 3 blind mice.

Ado. CDOS.